How to Communicate in a Foreign Country – In Memoriam

In November of 2009, I briefly lost my mind.  Lori was needed at a conference in Honolulu. So we decided to bring the kids along and visit the family. Lori, Logan, and I last visited in April of 2008, when my father died.  Thomas, born a month after dad’s passing, hadn’t been to Hawaii yet.  It was time for him to meet the tribe.  But at the time I wasn’t a big fan of “going home”.  And I didn’t quite feel like hanging out on the islands for a week.  So after a day or two I said goodbye to the wife and kids, grabbed one of my best childhood buddies, Marcus; and took off on a food trip to Osaka for 5 days.

They didn’t look too sad when I left them.

After we found great last minute deals through Yahoo Travel, we didn’t really plan too much else.  But a friend and mentor mentioned that his father lived in Osaka and could give us a “first- day orientation”.  It was a casual mention amidst other travel and lodging tips, and I wasn’t sure if anything was going to come of it.  But I gave my friend our travel dates and hotel reservations anyway.

Marcus found stemware unnecessary.

The flight from HNL to KIX on ANA was amazing.  I had traveled abroad many times, but never with one of  the vaunted “Asian airlines”.  The anxiety of traveling for 10 hours on a plane quickly disappeared after the first of many yuzu cocktails. It was the most comfortable flight I had ever experienced. And the Swissotel Nankai was the perfect hotel in the perfect location.  That is, across the street from the famous Dotonbori district of Osaka.   Marcus and I didn’t waste a second.  Immediately after checking in around 10pm, we went across the street.  We ate and drank into the early hours of the next day.

The next morning, the front desk woke us and announced that we had a visitor.  We both groggily wondered who it could be.  We went to the lobby and found my friend’s father waiting for us.  He brought us traditional welcoming gifts and was eager to show us around.  Marcus and I had no plans but neither of us spoke any Japanese.  We looked at each other and said “why not?” The next 8-10 hours were a whirlwind.  We clumsily communicated the foods we were dying to try, knickknacks we wanted to purchase, and sights we wanted to visit.  Mr. Tsurushita took us to large department stores and small shops to hunt for exclusive watches and jewelry.  He showed us how to navigate the trains and the back alleys of Dotonbori.  He even guided us towards some of the obscure and exotic food items we wanted to try.  Mr. Tsurshita’s guidance made our trip to Osaka one of the best traveling experiences I’ve ever had.

A few weeks ago, I received an email from another friend.  Mr. Tsurushita passed away in July at the age of 86.  I immediately reached out to his son to offer our condolences.  He wrote back:

“My father often talked about the encounter with you and Marcus, and was very
proud that he had treated you two with [obscure and exotic foods].  Somehow, he
believed they are your favorite.  I am still wondering how he communicated
with you because he did not speak English.  Thank you for a nice picture of
my father’s.  It captures well how my father smiled.”

Again, Marcus and I didn’t speak Japanese.  But it never really occurred to me that Mr. Tsurushita never spoke English.  I don’t remember that part of the trip.  We seemed to have communicated just fine.  I thought about it for quite some time and then replied to my friend:  “Sincere kindness is the best form of communication”.

I’ll never forget our 2009 trip to Osaka and I’ll never forget your kindness, Tsurushita Torakazu.

Thank you Tsurushita-sama.