Getting Your Kids Into Music without Tiger Mothering

For the record, I just read Amy Chua’s Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, and I LOVED it!  I know it caused quite a bit of controversy, but it must have been from people who don’t get parody or satire.  Ms. Chua herself said “much of my book is self parody”.  While she also says of her book, “It’s not a parenting book; it’s a memoir”; she does highlight a lot of the experiences of 2nd generation Asian parenting.

Here’s the deal, though.  When tiger parenting works, it’s awesome.  But when it doesn’t, it’s tragic.

I’ve been know to throw out these two nuggets during casual conversation:

• I don’t know any happy physicians.
• I don’t know any Asians who were forced to play music as a child who still play music for fun.

While I didn’t fully research the second statement, it includes 99% of the people I grew up with (mostly Asian and forced to take music lessons at an early age).  Contrast that to the people I jam with now: few are formally trained musicians, but we all love music.  We aren’t very good musicians, but we have lots of fun!  We do know formally trained (Asian) musicians, they just don’t go anywhere near an instrument for fun. And there’s the tragedy.  (There is one exception, but he’s a weird bird and a white dude!  Relax Boogie, you know we love you.)

Now there’s another group I haven’t addressed:  Friends who didn’t grow up with formal music training but are now interested in learning.  In fact, after I posted a video of Logan and I practicing on guitar, one such friend commented:  “Idea for a DK post: how to get and keep your child interested in music.”

So what is my strategy for getting my kids to love music without Tiger parenting?  I built them a jungle.

As they grew, I made sure that instruments were in almost every room in the house.  And whenever I had at least one friend around who could strum a tune, we started a jam.  I placed tuned instruments in the lab, in the gym, and in every office I had.  Then I waited.  After awhile,  it began.  The boys started to join in the singing, surprising us with memorization of lyrics and melodies.  We started hearing random plucking of strings and not so rhythmic beats on the drums.  Soon, it was “Dad, can you guys play my favorite song?” Then “Dad, can I play with you guys?”  They eventually asked for lessons.  It was music to my ears, pun totally intended.

From the day they came home from the hospital, I played the guitar and sang for them.  In fact, we thought Logan had a neurological disorder because as an infant in the crib he would shake his head and sway in a weird way whenever he heard music.  One day, I caught myself in the mirror as I was playing for him.  My eyes were half closed and I was shaking my head and swaying as I strummed and sang.  Whoops.  I’m just glad I wasn’t playing metal and banging my head.   Imitation is not only the best form of flattery, but it is also the best way to learn.  Your kids will do what you do.  If you want them to be musicians, love and play music.  They’ll feed off of your passion.

Do you have any other tips to get and keep kids interested in music?  Share your thoughts in the comments.