CrossLife – Broadening the Work Curve During a Pandemic

There is so much cool content out there with cool parents doing cool stuff with their kids. If you’re like me your first reaction is “Awesome!” Followed immediately by, “Ugh, I can’t do that. I can’t teach that. My kids are doomed.”

Well, there is no better situation than a government shelter in place mandate to expose such unbridled close quartered familial insecurities. Many parents are facing one particular dreaded refrain from family members. Note: I didn’t say kids. I’ve heard the same from parents as well: I’m bored.

As I child, I mentioned being bored – once. My mom’s response was, “When you have as much to do as I have, it’s impossible to be bored.” Message received: being bored was a luxury she didn’t have and one I wouldn’t have going forward. But being bored allowed me to explore and be creative with my time. It allowed me to consider all the things that interested me, but that I didn’t know how to do. Or that I was terrible at. Other people could do so many things I couldn’t do. I became curious as to how they learned all this stuff.

As the owner of the first CrossFit gym in Palo Alto over a decade ago, I emphasized to our clients that our main goal was “to increase work capacity across broad time and modal domains.” In other words, get better at doing more work – across a broader definition of work. So if work was a curve encompassing a range of acquired skills, we could broaden the work curve not only by getting better at those acquired skills but also by acquiring new skills. Then subsequently improving on the newly acquired skills. Repeat.

In a way, that’s what my mother was saying all along. It became a lifelong philosophy and something I’ve hoped to instill in my children. But was it enough for them to see their mom and dad have distinguished careers as scientists, gym owners, and entrepreneurs?

We’ve found that it’s more effective for them to observe us trying to learn new things. Bonus if we suck extra bad at these new things. They watch us make messes all the time – so much so that they wonder how we’ve managed to survive let alone be parents. But then they see us get better or acquire new skills. That’s when the Aha moment comes in for them. How mom and dad got to wherever they are is the same way mom and dad are going to get wherever they end up. What we’ve done becomes relevant to them because it demonstrates not a what, but a how. The result is the creation of a safe space for exploring, failing, and learning. More importantly, it creates a space for curiosity.

I found that for us just wanting awesome kids who aren’t bored and can do lots of things is not enough. Nor is buying them classes or sending them to camps. Show them that it is okay to try new things, even if you suck for awhile. Learning new stuff or managing uncertain situations is tough and scary. But it can be done. I feel like acting like we have it all figured out and are merely imparting a lifetime’s worth of wisdom won’t work as well. And how we react during times of crisis or uncertainty will expose that.

So during this county mandated Shelter In Place, we got to learning new skills and honing the ones we already had. It takes patience, which is usually in short supply for me even during the best of times. But just a few days ago, our 11 year old was calling for us from the kitchen. Concerned, I ran downstairs. I knew he was trying a new recipe and was cutting onions. I prepared for the worst. “Dad, check it out. These are the best diced onions I’ve done so far.” Just a few days earlier, it took him a half hour and tons of sulfuric acid induced tears to rough cut one onion. But he practiced and got better. Bonus: I’ll never have to prep again. I can just order mise en place ahead of time from my new kitchen prep staff!

As parents, how have we broadened our work curve during these crazy times? Well, momma fronted the house punk band for the first time while learning how to manage a multinational corporation from the breakfast nook.

And it took Dadda three tries to learn how to make bread sing.

What kinds of new things have you tried recently? What things have you tried to get better at?

Shout out to Cindy and Jennie for having bread making skills I didn’t even know I wanted and sharing with me what you know. Thanks to Jen and Mindy for bringing up bread making during these crazy times. As Peter Cetera yodeled, “You’re the Inspiration!”